slow attraction

Still floating around in this little music purgatory. Transitioning from alternative to hip hop then to bubbly EDM and all the way back to hip hop.

Here's some music I've recently come across/been listening to:

Chance the Rapper • Acid Rap 

Anamanaguchi • "Endless Fantasy" and "Planet" and "Prom Night" 

Years & Years • "I Wish I Knew" and "Real" and "Eyes Shut" 

Klingande • "Jubel" 

DJ Topsider • "Cold" and "Vibe"

Also, if you're feeling particularly bad-ass or just plain angry at the all the stupidity around you, check out my new playlist, "open letter to doopidity & co." on Spotify. I hope it makes you smile. (Note: It does contain a lot of explicit language.)

I'm running into the final three weeks of Winter Quarter, so as much as I'd love to sit down and spill everything that's been on my mind, I can only take about fifteen minutes to list some links of my current music recommendations. Other than that, I've just been doing a lot of complaining about the rainy Bay Area weather (but secretly enjoying it a lot). Also, lots of dancing. But more of that later. Happy March!

a new genre

Just a quick post as a filler to break the silence this past month and a half. I've been doing lots of thinking, even though I haven't been writing about it (and I apologize because I really know I should!). Lots of cool, "professional" things have been happening and I guess I've been barely able to fathom how to put my excitement into words.

This blog started out as a place to just jot down moments and little things that inspired me throughout each week, but the reason I'd written on these topics was because, well, I didn't know what I wanted my blog to be focused on. Then an idea hit me this past weekend — a soundtrack blog. Honestly, I don't know exactly what I want to call this "genre" of blogging, but the gist of it came from this train of thought:

• I like films and the idea of film production/writing. I don't know a whole lot about it yet, but I'm incredibly determined to learn. (I'm even considering tacking on a Communications/Film major to my current English major. So exciting!)

• I like music. I've been in a "music rut" recently, meaning I've been listening to some music, but nothing has struck me enough to make me obsess over it. Sadly, I feel like I'm moving out of my folk/indie phase and transitioning back into EDM/house and hip-hop. I keep asking myself "Why?? Music?? What?? Listen?? To??" (that's a bit of an exaggeration) but it's really frustrating because I want music to be integral to my life again, not just "stuff" I listen to while driving to school.

• Films I've watched recently (Spike Jonze's Her, Xavier Beauvois's De dioses y hombres, Denis Villeneuve's Incendies, and Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds) have moved me a lot. Especially in Her and Inglorious Basterds (as well as some of my other favorite movies), the music helped me connect to each of them.

And as a result of all this pondering, I've come up with this idea for a blog (partially inspired by Brain Picking's Literary Jukebox):

1. Come up with an idea for a short film/documentary. I'm wondering if there are any scripts that are in the public domain that I could use. I might even write my own...
2. In each post, include a scene from the film that I find important/significant. 
3. Handpick songs and create a "soundtrack" (more like a playlist) that I feel reflects the film.
4. Do a little blurb. Include a graphic or image.

I know there are people on 8tracks and Tumblr who create mixes and fan soundtracks for their ships, television shows, and even for broader genres of film (like this one and this one), and I guess this would fall under that category, but I think the differentiating detail is that I'm using films or series that aren't in the popular mainstream. Original scenes of my own work (I'm not sure if I can do this yet, since I have zero experience in screenwriting), abandoned scripts floating around the Internet, etc. I think that's what'll make this blog stand out.

I thought about making an entirely separate blog for this project, but I think I'll pilot it here. Looking at all the steps needed to construct one post, I estimate it'll take anywhere from two weeks to a month to make each one, since I'm basically married to my college studies and extracurriculars. I mostly see myself working on this during my bouts of free time between classes and on days when I (miraculously) do not have piles and piles of work to do.

How does this all sound? Would people even want to follow a blog like this? Even if I end up being the only reader, I think I'm fine with that, since it's mostly an activity I want to do in order to explore film and music more. It's mostly for me. If other people can enjoy it, then that'd be spectacular. I feel like I'm glowing inside just thinking about it.

december never felt so wrong

After things kinda fell apart in my  family and what was left of us tried to haphazardly stick ourselves back together again (things are still kinda dangling around, unresolved) each holiday we've "celebrated" has felt lonelier than the last. I don't really feel comfortable writing posts like these, especially knowing a lot of friends I care deeply about are and have been celebrating with their own families happily, warmly, safely. So, my holidays have been spent surrounded by wishy-washy, whirly-swirly, humdrum feelings.

Still, I can't help but say, from the bottom of my heart, Merry Christmas to you and yours. May the New Year bring us even better memories and experiences.

sorted

Being on long breaks with no concrete plans is definitely not good for me. I'm already more than a week into my winter holiday and I think I've filled my personal quota for lazy days of doing absolutely nothing productive. After spending my Wednesday lying on the couch watching an unhealthy number of episodes of Leverage from the morning to early evening, I finally decided I was sick of watching TV (despite the fact that I hadn't watched any since school started). So, this post is just a little recap of the my more "active" activities over the break so far.

Thursday, I went inline skating around the neighborhood with my best friend and we went to the park near our houses to sit on the swings and catch up. It felt so good to be able to talk with her in a way that felt like we'd just pressed a "Pause" button after we ended our last conversation all the way back in October and only had to press "Play/Resume" when we saw each other again. Wrapped up our time together with yummy hot chocolate and chocolate-covered biscuits. Later that night, I went to Tofu House and Christmas in the Park with L, D, and S. It was also so good to be able to hang out with them again. Television ain't got nothin' on these sweet little outings with the loveliest people.

Friday, I had to wake up at 6:30 in the morning for my dentist appointment at 7:30. It wasn't too bad having to wake up that early, but it ended up being a really long day. Got home, ate breakfast, then got ready to hang out with my ate and H. ADo was supposed to come but she unfortunately wasn't able to make it. :( We went to Bobo. I ordered a honey lemon tea with lychee jelly (I wasn't feeling up for milk tea, but I tried M and H's and their was really good! A+ for a boba place. It tasted like they use real tea instead of powder, but I'm not 100% sure.) We also shared a plate of beignets, which were really yummy, too! I'm sorry I'm lazy and don't take pictures of my food all the time, but if you sit in at Bobo, they put your drinks in cute little mason jars, which I thought was a cute and homey touch. We ended up sitting there for three hours, and it wasn't until the guy who'd helped us at the cashier got off his shift that we felt really awkward and decided to finally leave. We walked around the Vietnamese mall in the neighboring plaza and bought Christmas gifts from one of the small Asian stores that carries cute video game and anime-related items. Overall a day well spent, but that's not the end of it. I went home for dinner but immediately afterwards went to my Chinese school class's reunion for White Elephant and photos. We went over to visit our senior year teacher at her house and stayed there for a couple hours just chatting with everyone. Finally, I went to N's house with the two A's afterwards and stayed and talked to her for another hour. Didn't go home until very late, but it was a wonderful day well spent. So much better than hours upon hours of television.

Finishing up this post with lists, as per usual:

Things I've been following

• SORTED food's YouTube channel
• Cooking with Dog

What I've been listening to

• Birdy's cover of "Wake Me Up" 
• Small Sound (2013) by Tennis
• My friend J's beautiful piano cover of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" : )

an early christmas

Memories captured courtesy of M's awesome Fujifilm instax mini : )

December 13, 2013

Most of our group, Commuters and Their Friends, went to ADo's for an early Christmas party to celebrate the end of the quarter. There was good food, live music (with the three M's on sax and piano), Secret Santa, karaoke, and late-night Monopoly. I couldn't have asked for a better night.

gratitude

Always thankful for this little baby.

I take pride in the fact that I always take a few minutes out of each day to remind myself of all the things and people I am grateful for, but it's nice to have a day specifically dedicated to expressing gratitude and spending time with family, especially since I get an entire week off of school to relax, too.

This year's Thanksgiving was a lot simpler and, to be honest, even a little lonelier than I wanted it to be. Life's a little weird right now in terms of family life, but it didn't stop me from making the best of today. My mom and one of my aunts went up to Reno with a family friend for a concert, so they weren't here with us. My other aunt is staying here with us to help take care of my grandma, leaving me and my two other brothers the only other people at home. My brothers were gone the entire morning and honestly it was so quiet at home I felt a little physically sick. I thought I could get some work done since it was so still, but I ended up just window shopping online the entire time. (So much for finishing my two research papers and starting on a study guide of 200+ terms before the weekend.) My brothers came home in the afternoon, so I ate lunch and re-watched Leverage with them for about an hour. I finally decided I wanted to bake something, just for the sake of filling the house with a delicious aroma that would at least take up a little more space in our big, empty house. My brother and I decided on pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, so we stopped by Safeway to grab ingredients and came back to whip up some of these little munchkins. They're so fluffy and yummy and smell so, so good. I might even make more tomorrow.

Last Friday our little group of Commuters and Their Friends (yes, that's what we call ourselves) had a little outing that I forgot to write about. After class MN and I ran into ML and VY, so we decided to grab ML's ukulele from her car and have a jam session on the outdoor stage behind O'Connor. Afterwards Kumar and VD joined us, but after a bit MN, ML and V had to leave so Kumar, VD and I went downtown to Philz for coffee and Iggy's for burritos. Then we picked up ADo from school and went to Recycle Books! (Hehe, I wonder who suggested we go there...) I picked up a copy of Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman and finished it on Tuesday. It was pretty good, though it didn't quite meet my expectations after the cashier's raving recommendation. It's okay, because I feel pretty good about finishing a book outside of school. Anyways, we finally met up with the rest of the group around seven and we headed to Cafe Lattea. I ordered a matcha latté! It was nice. Afterwards we went back to the Flip to play Smash, then ended the evening with football (although I spectated with ADo and VD and didn't play). It was a good day. Good friends and good company are things I am just infinitely grateful for each and every day :' )

Now, getting on to the obligatory blurb of all the things I'm grateful for...

little things

• almond milk
• the smell of freshly baked muffins and cookies in the kitchen
• dishwashing soap
• socks of all shapes, colors, and levels of fluffiness
• holiday music (here's my personal playlist)
• electric blankets
• bookmarks
• Christmas lights and decorations
• sweet little Thanksgiving texts from friends :' )

big things

• the ability to always keep the right, positive mindset even when things are tough
• the support I get from all my friends and family
• the chance to have found family and a place to call home at SCU, despite being a commuter

bigger things

• people (my mother, my brothers, my aunts, my grandmother, my friends near and far, my ate and kuya, Charlie, and all those who influence me in ways I could never have imagined)
• school
• home
• life
• the universe

patchwork show in oakland

November 24, 2013

My good friend G invited me to go check out the Patchwork Show, held at Jack London Square in Oakland this past weekend, and of course (since we're both very crafty and DIY-oriented people) I gladly accepted. We originally wanted to take public transportation, but I ended up driving all the way up. I invited my friend A to come along too and I'm glad I did! It was really nice to have a buddy sitting next to me in the passenger seat for the long drive there and back. We got to chat and bond a little too, so that definitely made the day even more memorable.

Unfortunately I didn't take any photos while I was inside the Patchwork Show. It was basically a craft fair where local vendors sold their goods: jewelry, clothing, soaps, prints, cards, posters, etc. Everything was so cute and pretty! If I had the disposable income to spend freely, I definitely would have. The only things I picked up were all the beautiful business cards because I'm cheap. I was so tempted to buy some necklaces and earrings as gifts, but sadly my wallet wouldn't have been able to handle it. Ah, well.

The guy spelled me name wrong, but that's okay! : )

There were two food trucks outside the show! We went to The Melt because it was a lot cheaper than the other one (I forget its name). I got The Mission with fresh tomato — spicy but yummy.

We walked around the waterfront after we finished eating. Lots of sunshine and not a cloud in the sky all afternoon. I had such a relaxing day with two of the sweetest people ever. I've missed going on peaceful little adventures like these.

things not to be forgotten

My apologies for skipping recaps of Week 6 through Week 9! I've been busy just about every single day for the final half of this whirlwind of a quarter, and even though I'm currently on Thanksgiving break, I feel like I need to use my time off to sit down and breathe (and nap) more than I need to write every single thing out. I really wish I could reach into my brain, make a copy of every memory I've made this past month and just stick it in a blog post and call it a wrap, but alas, technology has not advanced to such a stage. So, please bear with me — I'm simply going to list out the little things I don't want to forget (and I've probably forgotten many things already). Honestly, I'm not even sure if any of this is in chronological order, but I'll do my best:

KAA Clue Night/Reveal • AMAZINGNESS. I feel so lucky to have two bigs: a kuya and an ate who are two of the coolest people I've ever met. We're all so quirky and a little awkward but in a fun-loving, sweet and wonderful way that makes me feel like sunshine is radiating from within the depths of my tummy/existential being. (*cough* Forgive the dreadful metaphors, I'm lying in the dark on my bed typing this out without really doing much editing. I think I'm feeling a little hungry, too.)

Spam Musubis • Made 167 spam musubis with APSU board! Our original goal was to make 300, but boy, I was so sick of spam by the end of the night. I was kind of dizzy, too. It was really fun though! It made for a successful fundraiser, too. $$$$$

PCN Casting • Believe it or not, I tried out for Barkada's Pilipino Cultural Night. I haven't done a choreographed dance in almost three years, but I was drawn in anyways. I'd missed out on parts of the dance lessons, so I went early to re-learn everything. So tired afterwards (I was the second to last group to audition) but I think it was still a fun experience. Can't wait to find out which dance I've been sorted into!

Pride and Prejudice • The theatre department put on an adaptation of one of my favorite Jane Austen novels! Of course I went to watch it. It was wonderful. Mr. Bennet's performance was spot on, as was Mrs. Bennet and, of course, Mr. Darcy. Much applause for Mr. Bingley, too! On another note, I really envied Mr. Bennet's lovely monk strap loafers. Mmf. Get in my closet.

Working in the library until 2 a.m. during Week 9 • The library closes at two, and not until Dead Week will it be open 24/7. Reasons for staying so late: history paper thesis and research, CTW essay draft, studying for Latin midterm, and painting the banner for Barkada's Typhoon Relief fundraiser. All noble efforts, and not a single regret. I got to spend good time with my ate, too (':

M helping me buy new taillights and teaching me how to install them • M is probably the most independent, fierce, intelligent, sassy and all-around badass woman I've ever befriended. Seriously. She's so warm and caring all at the same time. So grateful to have her as a good friend. It rained pretty hard last week, and I had stupidly decided to ignore the fact that my taillights were out until the very last minute. M didn't want me to be in danger so she went and bought new bulbs for me and showed me how to install them. So much gratitude and love.

I've definitely missed a lot of things, so I will come back and add more if anything comes to mind. Thanksgiving Break shenanigans will go in a separate post, hopefully with more pictures than this one. That's all for now!

xx

unconditional love explained in 23 minutes

I just discovered this TED talk — it is beautifully written and executed, so about halfway through listening to it I decided I wanted to share it on this blog, especially since I haven't posted a list of inspirational things in a while. If you have 23 minutes to spare, I highly recommend it.



Here are the last few phrases that stood out to me most:

"ecosphere of kindness"
"splendor can illuminate even the most abject of vulnerabilities"
"the terrifying joy of unbearable responsibility"
"I do not accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones"

In other news, I will have a recap post of how my last few weeks have been up very soon. I've been incredibly busy and without much time to flesh out a good post. I haven't really been able to keep track of all the little things that make me smile these days too. I'll definitely have more time once Thanksgiving break rolls around. (At least, I hope I will!) Until then, I leave you with this poignant and eloquently delivered TED talk. Enjoy!

friendship, spuf, dtd

"We got a gift for you, we got a gift for you!"

Okay, so I'm procrastinating on my essay (the draft is due on Monday night, #sendhelp), but then again I've also been procrastinating on writing this post about Friendship Games, which took place last Saturday, October 26, at CSU Fullerton. It's been almost an entire week since then so I definitely won't be able to convey everything in full detail, but just know that it was most definitely a very memorable weekend.

Friday • Normal morning and afternoon: went to class and then met up with Barkada at Shapell at 5:30 pm. Our car (finally) left around 7 and we ate at In-N-Out. Eventually left the parking lot a bit past 8 and headed down to LA! I didn't know the people in the car I rode in but I got to know them better throughout the weekend and I have to say that it's not even a competition — we had the best car. We arrived at around two in the morning and I stayed in a room with six other girls. We bonded while cutting our Barkada shirts and didn't "sleep" until four.

Saturday • Woke up at six to get ready for the big day. Stopped by McDonald's for breakfast and headed straight over to CSUF for the games! The whole event's vibe really reminded me of Key Club and Fall Rally. I can't say I miss my Key Club days, but FG was definitely a step up in terms of spirit (which is honestly saying a lot). Our club is relatively small and we didn't have extravagant costumes (like the school that dressed up as the Fire Nation or the one that dressed up as cavemen), but everyone still had a really great time! Our theme was pirates so our SPUF (stands for Spirit Pride Unity Friendship — basically the spirit cheer/performance that you do when you "SPUF" other schools) involved releasing the kraken (and seamen) as well as lots of pirate booty (rock it everywhere!). Around intermission (i.e., siesta time) I went with a group to eat at Pieology. AD and I created a magnificent pizza. It was sooo delicious — herb butter, pesto, sausage, mushrooms, tomatoes and pineapple. I want it again! (Pieology is like the Chipotle of pizza.) I think there's one in SJ so I'm going to go again when I have the funds (or when my craving for pizza becomes unbearable). I played two games: Alpine Green and Tidal Wave (and I'm too lazy to type out a description) and those were fun! After the games ended (we were so exhausted by the time we left) we went back to the hotel and showered. Left around seven in the evening to go to J's family's house in LA for dinner. They had a caterer come and make amazing tacos for us! Afterwards some people went to the FG after party at a club but the rest of us went to Downtown Disney. It was my first time there and it was nice, but I think I was too tired to be overly excited. I wanted to buy socks but they were too expensive. Our pizza from Pieology costed less than the cheapest pair I could find! Went back to the hotel and ~partied~ (not really — everyone was too tired) and basically knocked out from exhaustion.

Sunday • Our car wanted to go eat at Blu Jam Cafe, but when we finally found it we saw that there was a huge line and decided against it. We ended up going to IHOP and were back on the road after noon. The trip back home is a blur now, but after we got back (a bit past 7:30 pm) I went straight to the library to study since I had a Latin midterm the next day. I ended up acing it, so no worries :)

Scurvy Britches • I actually want to dedicate a little section to our car — or "ship" — the Scurvy Britches. I actually didn't really know anyone in the car until Friday, and needless to say I was a bit nervous, even though my friends told me they were all super cool and nice people. I didn't doubt what my friends said, but our car really ended up being the best! I'm really thankful to have gotten to ride with them. From playing ratchet music (with brief Ghibli soundtrack interludes and lots of throwbacks to the 90's and 00's) to rolling down the windows and blasting "Beverly Hills" while driving through LA, from the group making sure I got the "full experience" of DTD to random Snapchats on the road, we made some great memories and I'm happy they've been including me in their recent shenanigans too.

What I've written here doesn't quite cover everything that happened, but I hope you guys can get the gist of how happy I was to be there! It was exhausting, but every hour of sleep I lost was worth every smile and laugh I got to share with some of the most fantastic people ever.